Being in I.B. I've learned to look at controversial topics from different perspectives. Something I was thinking about the other day was pregnancy. (I know, random right?) To be completely honest if I see a girl walking through the halls at school, obviously pregnant, I have stereotypical thoughts about her. She didn't use protection, the pregnancy was an accident, her parents are probably angry and so on. Not to say that any of those options aren't true, however realizing those judgements I would normally have made got me thinking: why does pregnancy seem to have a negative connotation these days? Of course if you're a teen who's pregnant it comes with a negative connotation, but what about a grown woman?
Just the other day I was at the grocery store and saw a pregnant woman walking around by herself. And I noticed down the aisle that another woman was staring at her the same way I see pregnant teenage girls being stared at. The look of the other woman was almost condescending. As I continued to shop, I noticed other people watching her too. And their stares did not appear friendly. They were almost patronizing. I was trying to understand exactly what was making these people stare because I couldn't bring myself to believe the reason was her pregnancy. But then I realized something. This woman wasn't wearing a ring on her finger.
It made me wonder; how does marriage make a difference in how people view pregnancy?
Even though society these days deems it acceptable to have children, but not be married, why were the people in the grocery store still staring at the pregnant woman that way? I believe that the modern idea of unmarried pregnancy has contributed to its own "taboo" connotation. A couple of decades ago if a grown woman was pregnant, people assumed she was married. Now people can't assume those things because of a change in society. More and more people are remaining unmarried, but still having children together. Some people have one night stands and get pregnant. Women can become pregnant from a sperm donor. There are so many ways to become pregnant that people can't assume one single ideal anymore. There are other alternatives they would have to consider. And a lot of people don't approve of many of the more modern ways women are becoming pregnant.
That's why I believe people were staring at that pregnant woman in the grocery store. They didn't know her story and therefore made assumptions. Thinking about this now, it seems quite ridiculous to me that pregnancy should have a negative connotation simply because there are other ways to be pregnant without being married.
Marriage is a bizarre institution nowadays, considering not only the situations you described but also how much people are fighting for the right to marry freely. Not that I oppose either, but it's kind of obsolete since many people live together unmarried.
ReplyDeleteBut more on pregnancy: It is most likely for people to judge and skip to the most negative thoughts when they see a pregnant woman who is either fairly young or apparently single. Maybe there is a patronizing attitude among the general public; some think that all the world's young women should be kept "safe". It's like there are millions of strangers parenting this woman.
I do feel bad for unplanned pregnancies, on behalf of both the parent and the future child. On the bright side, though, it's the ultimate challenge of perseverance.